i'll miss you, brother
12:00 a.m. || 05.03.03

Today has just not been a good day. I went to work, came home, ate lunch, took a nap. I got up around 7:30pm and saw Phil was online. Talked to him for a bit, and he told me a few things that a good friend of ours told him. Things that werent true. So anyways, I was pretty pissed off at that. Pissed off isnt even a good word. This may have seriously damaged my relationships with both Phil and our mutual friend.

Then, I start talking to Valerie, a good friend of mine. She is 10 years older than me, and I am 10 years older than her son, Aaron. Valerie used to babysit me when I was really little, and then I used to watch Aaron when he was little. Now we are both good friends, and Aaron and I consider each other like "brother and sister", we are close. In the past week and a half, Valerie has decided to up and move to Texas. She is leaving tomorrow. This is such short notice and I had a hard time dealing with just Valerie leaving. You see, she was gonna leave Aaron here with his grandparents for the remainder of the schoolyear, then he was going to fly down to Texas. So, that gave me about 2 more months to spend with him. Well, I guess some things happened at school with Aaron, and yesterday, Valerie decided that Aaron will be coming with her. Tomorrow. My brother is leaving and moving all the way down to Texas. I was absolutely devestated. I sat here and sobbed for the longest time. I love them both, and we are all pretty close. I thought I would have had more time with Aaron. But he is leaving tomorrow. His grandparents are still here, so hopefully they will come back and visit soon, and I can always fly down there. But still. I will miss them terribly.

Aaron and I have a great relationship. He is 13 years old, and is not afraid to hug me or tell me he loves me, in public. He pretends to be all punkish, and a lot of people think he is a 'bad kid' cause he doesnt always listen... But, he always listens to me. We've just always been like that. He and I are cool. But, he is leaving tomorrow. Hopefully they come back. That sounds awful I guess, cause I want them to be happy, but I will miss them terribly. I was talking to Valerie on MSN Messenger, and then Aaron got on, and was like "hold on a sec" and then all of a sudden my phone rings. He and I ended up talking for 2 hours! He told me about his last few days at school, his girlfriend and how she doesnt want him to leave, these cars he is really into and everything about them, and then he started playing bowling on yahoo, so i downloaded it and we were both bowling and telling each other about our games. He is the funniest kid. I cant believe he is leaving. Hes my brother, and I will miss him.

They are leaving sometime tomorrow, Valerie is getting the truck around 9am, and then coming back to load it. She said I can come over anytime after 9. I want to, and I dont want to. But, I will certainly regret it if I dont. I'm starting to cry just thinking about it. I wish it didnt have to be this way. This is so hard. Everyone seems to be leaving lately. Why does everyone have to go? So, I will go over there around 9, I guess. I'm not looking forward to it. I will bring my camera and get lots of pictures. He said he has a couple playstation games he is going to give me. I dont have a PS yet, but now I will have to get one! A PS2 though, so I can play more games! This is so sad. I'm just devestated. I've cried so much today and I know its not over. I havent cried over anything this much in a really really long time. The worst part is, I could find none of my friends. No one was around. So I just sat here, crying.

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